A Faith Story

September 17, 2013 at 3:16 pm (Spirituality)
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The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. Zephaniah 3:17

This is an email I received from my Dad… I thought I’d share it.

2 DAY AT MC DONALDS PORT CHARLOTTE  FL === MOM & I WERE EATING R BIG MAC’S === I SAW A STREET MAN WALK IN CARRYING AN EMPTY COFFEE CUP IN === HE GOT IT REFILLED & SAT DOWN === WHEN WE WERE LEAVING I BOUGHT 2 SANDWICHES & FRIES === I PLACED THEM ON HIS TABLE & SAID I LOVE U BROTHER & WALKED AWAY === HE CAME AFTER ME & SAID I DID NOT HAVE 2 DO THAT & HE WAS IN SLOW TIMES === I TOLD HIM I WON LOTTERY & HAD EXTRA MONEY === HE SAID HE LOST FAITH IN MANKIND & THIS GIVING BROUGHT BACK HIS FAITH === WE TALKED , HE SAID HIS STREET NAME IS GHOST ( HE IS QUIET & NOT SEEN ) & I TOLD HIM MINE IS SOCK MAN === WITH A HUG WE UNDERSTOOD R ACTIONS === I LEFT SO CHOKED UP I COULD NOT SPEAK ( THAT IS HARD 4 ME ) === MOM SAID 4 $3 A MAN’S FAITH WAS RESTORED === I THINK IT WAS MORE THAN THAT === WHAT DO U THINK ?????????????????????????  === TELL ME OR OTHERS YOUR STORY OF FAITH === I WOULD LIKE 2 HEAR IT=== S.M. [sockman]

Is it really that easy to restore a man’s faith? Can 3 dollars at McD’s do that? Do we have a street name? A secret word that defines us? There can be brutal honesty in the monikers we chose. And whose faith was effected the most? I believe it may have been my father’s. And was this more than a faith story. I believe so.

faithThe spiritual faith we have is supposed to be through God. All things are possible through the Lord. But part of our faith is the obedience that goes with it. And part of that obedience is detailed in Matthew 28:18- 20. “And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them inthe name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Did you notice the words say “make disciples.” The words don’t say “Tell people about me.”

Part of discipleship is living the way Christ wants us to. This is how we spread Christ’s message. My father was sharing love with “Ghost.” God is all about love. And that is how we should witness, by showing our love. Ghost needed love. He lives in a world that doesn’t care about him anymore. But my dad did. And Jesus does. The message of God’s love is a message of hope. Restoration knowing you’re one of God’s kids, an heir to his throne. That was what my father was sharing, and it is so much more than simple faith.

faith 2My faith story? I think it is still being written. It has taken place in some dark places. Hundreds of people showing up at our son Michael’s funeral. Their presence was a connector to God that kept me going. Jail was another dark time. I felt no purpose for my life, just wanting to die. There was a fellow inmate named Clarence. I remember the ever-present smile on Clarence’s face. He shared with me why he had that smile- GOD. Harry Watson, a Chaplain at Summit County, also had that same smile and an angelic presence that let me know God cared. He is the main reason I serve as a Chaplain at the same jail today. During all these times a small group of friends and my family remained ever-faithful to me. They are the people I am close to today.

faith 3Now it is time to write someone else’s faith story. I spend my time Jail talking to guys society doesn’t want anymore. Their own families often abandon them. They find their friends were pretenders never to return- until they need something. When I talk to them I always let them know I love them, and so does Jesus. It is sad that they may not hear that form anyone else. The homeless man on the street has been exiled by society as well. A smile accompanied with “Jesus and I love you” may restore faith. A sandwich may be the only gift they receive from anyone. To sit and have a conversation is restorative love. And that is why I think my father’s encounter went far beyond faith. He moved Ghost to hope- something I hope you are never without. I’ve been in the darkness of hopelessness. Thank God for those who lift us out despair.

God Bless,

Mark

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Dad’s Fiftieth

June 16, 2013 at 1:17 pm (Uncategorized)
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Recently I wrote about my Mom’s fiftieth mother’s day. Now it is my Dad’s turn. This is his 50th father’s day. Fathers have a special place in their kids’ hearts. Kids grow up wanting to imitate their father’s behavior and follow their advice. This is good and bad on us dads. We can never be perfect, and our kids our going to learn from our good and bad moments. Here are some things I have learned from my father.

dad2Slothfulness casts into a deep sleep, and an idle person will suffer hunger. Proverbs 19:15 A rolling stone gathers no moss.  I have never seen my father sit still. Even as he has gotten older he is always doing something. In between he may take naps but still you can find Dad spreading mulch in the 95 degree Florida heat. I will admit I have two speeds, on and off. We need to live with the switch on, that is how we share the fruits of God’s grace.

Let each one [give] as he has made up his own mind and purposed in his heart, not reluctantly or sorrowfully or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 2 Corinthians 9: 7 Give your time freely. It is the most precious gift you have. I have watched my Father give his time. His volunteer work is legendary. When I volunteer (a lot) it is because of what my Father taught me.

He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much; and he who is unrighteous in a very little thing is unrighteous also in much. Luke 16:10  Anything can be fixed. Everything has value. When we grew up there wasn’t a lot of extra money. If something broke Dad fixed it. When I needed my first car we put in a motor and spray painted the car. If something could be fixed we did. This attitude has carried over. I fix what I can- it not only saves money but shows respect for my processions.

dadDo you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize?  Run in such a way as to get the prize.” 1 Corinthians 9:24 If you can’t run, walk; if you can’t walk crawl, if you can’t crawl get there anyway. That was an expression I heard from a young age! It was about two things. First establish the goal. Second, find a way to get there. That is what learned from my dad. And with God I know it is possible.

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:30 Give it up to God. My dad read me this scripture just the other day. He was excited about it. What I don’t think he realized that he had taught me that already. There is no burden to great for God. And if we need to expend energy, why not use it on God?

For the righteous falls seven times and rises again. Proverbs 24:16 Get back up again. My dad has fallen hard in his life. My falls have made his falls seem small. But I saw him get up and be a changed man. That gave me hope. And I stood up. I didn’t know what to do. But it was reassuring to see the man my Dad became. That is a gift I will always be grateful for.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:7 The journey of marriage. I have seen my father truly love my mother for 50+ years. His ability to love involves giving something of himself to my mother, constantly. There is also a true covenant with God regarding the sacred bond of marriage which has survived turbulence and joy. I look forward to treating a future partner that way.

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:12 The world is full of our brothers and sisters. The true test of our character and servant love for God is how we treat those whom society has stopped caring about. My father has dedicated his ministry to people others have forgot. I’d like to think I have followed in his footsteps. The funny part is, there is no place my father is more comfortable (me too!). Makes me think a whole lot of people are missing out on something cool.

dad3Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. Psalm 127: 3-5 I love you. Those are words we need to hear. My father has never been afraid to express his love. I have practiced this lesson. As I drop Mikayla off at school every day I always tell her “I love you and I’m proud of you.” Some mornings she groans (Thus is the nature of a 15 year old.) Other days I hear “I love you too”. But every day she hears me. That is our charge.

Thanks for teaching me these things Dad. As I have said I am trying to follow in your footsteps. Your legacy, my gift. HAPPY FATHER’S DAY.

God Bless,

Mark

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Falling Trees

May 31, 2013 at 6:22 pm (docmark's philosophy, Spirituality)
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If a tree falls in the woods does it make noise if no one sees it fall? Well, let me tell you.

Today I was hiking on the Mingo (As in the Mingo Indians) trail in the Akron Metroparks. The trail is up and down through a valley created by glaciers long ago. Those Mingo Indians must have been fit. The trail goes up and down the hills, changing elevation hundreds of feet several times. At the tops of the hills I think oxygen tanks should be installed. As I approached the summit of one of these hills my day got interesting.

Trust me it makes noise when it falls!

Trust me it makes noise when it falls!

I heard a thunderous crash. I sped up to see what happened.  A large ancient tree laid on the ground. You could tell it just fell. The limbs of other trees quivered. The sun shined brightly through the new opening. A family of chipmunks sat weeping on the trail. OK I made that one up, but wasn’t it a good line? All told it was one of the most dramatic and traumatic events I have ever witnessed in the wood.

I walk on the trails through the woods all the time. It is hard (impossible) to walk without seeing a fallen trees. Some big, some small. Some freshly fallen, others on their way to returning to the earth as they rot out. Too many to even keep track of. Isn’t life like that?

As I walked through Highland Square later this morning (The five miles in the woods wasn’t enough) I had a thought. There were people everywhere. How many of them have trees fall in their lives? A group of eight people waited for the bus. Was one waiting there because they lost their job and couldn’t afford a car? I wonder if any of them looked back at me and thought “This guy lost his son.” I’m sure I walked by many who were recently divorced. A group of teens sat on a wall. Statistically one of them was being abused at home. You couldn’t tell which one by looking at them.

People don’t announce that their tree has fallen. I have yet to see a lady walking through Highland Square with a sign that says “My husband died of cancer two months ago.” Yet the obituaries are filled with names every day. Our trees are like those in the woods- pervasive, continually falling, and almost always silent. Is there something we need to do about that?

How many trees are falling around you that you aren't paying attention to?

How many trees are falling around you that you aren’t paying attention to?

First we need to walk with kindness, sensitivity, and empathy. Those who go through such events need to grieve. The only sign we may see is their depression and or anger. When a stranger seems out of it do you ever ask if they are OK? The person yelling at you in the checkout line may have just gone through something tough. They may just need a smile back or a kind word to help them through the moment. And letting them know Jesus loves them maybe the lifeline out of their hopelessness and despair. One does needs to enter these moments realizing that the person may not be ready for a kind word or Jesus. That doesn’t absolve us from trying to be God’s servants of love. And this should happen with every person we encounter.

The trees in people’s lives also reinforce the need to pray globally. I truly believe you don’t need to know someone to have God answer prayers. It is easy to include family and friends in prayer. If we work at it we include church leaders, politicians and even our enemies. But how about a prayer for all the kids who are sick and/or are hungry? Or maybe praying for God to strengthen families? Do you pray for the homeless? I need work in this area. I guess I’ll have to be selfless enough to give a whole minute of my life to include these folks in my morning prayers.

We do see some of these trees fall. We go to the funeral of a wife who has lost her husband of 50+ years. We may even bring them a casserole or call them on the phone after the funeral. But trees that fall don’t go anywhere for a longtime. That wife will still be grieving a year later, perhaps in a different way, but none the less grieving. Have we asked her then how she is doing? We may have a food drive for a family we know in need. But that family will still need help even when they get back to work. That is easy to forget. We really need to remember all of these folks for a lot longer than is our habit.

We may need to tell folks when we need to be heard

We may need to tell folks when we need to be heard

I hope you don’t have many trees fall in your life. When they do I hope others hear them. That is usually not the case. People are not mind readers. Also most of us are naturally selfish and worry about our own problems first (myself included). We will need to let others know when we are going through tough patches. Then we need to brace ourselves for the responses. When people listen they feel a need to help. They don’t realize the listening is the help. Guys you may want to re-read that last sentence. Therefore people feel the need to dispense advice which is often misses the bulls-eye. Just know their intentions are good. If you are the advice giver try “let me know if there is anything I can do to help.”

I hope you are blessed to take a walk in the woods without a tree falling today.

God Bless,

Mark

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Mom

May 13, 2013 at 1:19 am (Spirituality)
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“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12 ESV

Happy 50th Mother's Day Mom!

Happy 50th Mother’s Day Mom!

Today is my Mom’ fiftieth Mother’s day. Being the oldest I have been there for all of them. So I feel that at the very least I am an expert in why my Mom is number 1. I am confident many of us think that about our mothers. Here is my list, how does it compare with yours?

I came out of my Mother’s tummy. Without her no me or four younger brothers. For those who are adopted, including my kids, there is no difference. Our moms would give their lives for us from the moment we came into their world.

My mom makes great afghans. Mine is wrapped around me as I write.  They are crocheted by hand. That meant little to me when I was younger- know I know better. My mom has gracefully aged and has hands that ache. Yet she would make me another afghan in a second if I asked. Love is giving something of yourself that costs you. No cost- no love. My mother has shown and taught me that.

My mom is a shepherd. She is the gatherer of her sheep (Yes I just called myself a sheep). Moms, including mine, keep their flock together. This is a task that men often don’t appreciate and/or understand. The effort to accomplish this goes unrecognized. Am I being vague? If you’re a mom your answer is no.

My parents have been married for over 50 years. They have both given me the blessing of seeing how a good marriage should work. We learn by observing. My parents’ marriage hasn’t been perfect; fifty years will do that. But I have watched their resilience and continued love. Now if I could only apply that lesson to my own life 🙂

momI am my Mom (and Dad). As we grow we can see pieces of ourselves that come from our parents. My Mom is the smartest person I know. I’d like to think I got some of that from her. There are other blessing I have received from my mom. Not all are genetically acquired. The environment our parents put us in also forms us. I talked to a teen today who likes shopping for shoes. Silly as that is it is something her Mom likes to do, and now her daughter does as well. My mom loves board games. I have played games with her for about 45 years now. A piece of her has become a piece of me. The number of those pieces are too numerous to count.

My Mom and Dad are still here. Few of my friends can say that. For that I am grateful. We need to cherish what time we have together.

Sons and daughters do things that hurt their parents that are beyond forgiving. I know I am guilty of that. Many of us are. Yet my mom, and yours, forgives. And perhaps that ability to put the past behind is another piece of my mom that can become a part of me.

Perseverance. Anyone who survives motherhood for 50 years deserves a reward. We all need to realize how tough of a job it is. Studies show the average stay at home mom puts in 90+ hours a week. There are no sick days, no vacations. The pay is the joy of seeing your kids grow up. Then the heartache of letting them go. A journey more than a job. And I am proud and grateful that I took the journey with my Mom.

How about your Mom? I love to hear about her in my comment section.

God Bless,

Mark

 

 

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Grapes of Love

February 21, 2013 at 12:50 am (Spirituality)
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“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. 5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” John 15:1-8 ESV

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vineThe vine and the fruit.  Jesus teaching us that we must remain connected to Him. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. We are pruned by God-getting rid of everything not good. The result? Off the vine, bearing no fruit, we are dead. On the vine we bear fruit. So much fruit it can exceed our wildest expectations. But why are we on the vine? What do we do with the fruit?

If we read the rest of the verse it is clear why we are on the vine. Christ says we are on the vine for the Glory of God. This is how we are to show that we are his disciples. Discipleship is obedience. Christ was the obedient son to God. Not a surprise that us being on the vine is about our obedience. The concept is clear throughout the Bible. On the vine of Christ everything is singularly about following God.

So what is the command Jesus wants us to follow? In verse 12 Jesus says “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” If there is any confusion about the type of love Jesus is talking about he clears it up in verse 13: “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Jesus then defines who his friends are in verse 14: “You are my friends if you do what I command.”

How does this define love for us? Love costs-US. Love is freely giving of yourself. That is the purpose of bearing fruit on the vine. We are meant to give the fruit we bear to others. Freely- without regard to our feelings for the person. We are to love everyone-friends, family, acquaintances and enemies. Jesus demands it.

doorChrist also talks about the permanence of his fruit in verse 16: “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.” God not only gave us the ability to bear fruit, but also made it everlasting. How could that be? Because the fruit of love effects people permanently when we give it to others. The simple act of waiting to hold a door changes someone’s life.  If a hundred different doors get held for that person the effect magnifies and snowballs. And we can all go way beyond opening a door.

We can also make huge sacrifices of love in a single moment. I have seen others make those calls. I remember a patient who discovered breast cancer in the middle of her pregnancy. They had three kids already. Treating the cancer meant aborting the baby. The mother never wavered in continuing the pregnancy. Those choices are hard. But Christ never asks us to do anything compared to the sacrifices he has made for us. We also can be more ready to give this kind of love by staying close to God. If we love the way God commands us we will be giving of ourselves constantly. That will help us prepare for those tough, large, live changing sacrifices.

As we discussed this topic in jail today another thought occurred to me. I was looking at a poster that Gloria made(She makes great artwork every week!). This particular poster had vines with actually bunches of plastic grapes hanging from it. Roses and flowers abound. As I looked at it I wondered what happens to grapes left on the vine?

Is your fruit rotting on the vine?

Is your fruit rotting on the vine?

I ask the inmates we were talking to what they thought about grapes left on the vine. We had one vote for raisins and a whole bunch of vote for rotten grapes. What a horrible waste. If we don’t give to others all those cool things that God gave us they don’t ever get used. Tragic.

I am determined not to leave a single piece of fruit on my part of the vine. I pray that you don’t either. Let’s all magnify God’s glory by giving our fruit away. Then we can wait for our next crop of grapes to come in. What can we do while we wait? We can get sustenance from watching the gifts we give away work in others. And we can pray that that they bear and use their own fruit as well. Amen.

God Bless,

Mark

 

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Everyone

February 18, 2013 at 3:46 pm (Spirituality, Uncategorized)
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“For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them. 20 To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the law I became as one under the law (though not being myself under the law) that I might win those under the law. 21 To those outside the law I became as one outside the law (not being outside the law of God but under the law of Christ) that I might win those outside the law. 22 To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some. 23 I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings” 1 Corinthians 9: 19-23 ESV
We all have our comfort zones. We would rather hang around with folks worth similar interests and lifestyles. As Christians we tend to want to hang around with people of similar religious philosophy and spirituality. Most of us don’t go to someone’s house to have church. We don’t see pews at work (Well some of us do.) We don’t go on the street corner to look for God. My question, why?
As Paul evangelized to people in Asia and Europe he encountered three different groups of people. The Jews, Gentiles and non-believers. Each of these groups had subgroups with different beliefs as well. Paul could have been very comfortable preaching and evangelizing to one of these groups, yet he chose all of them. Paul’s message in 1 Corinthians 9: 19-23 talks about this.
First Paul talks about being a servant. He has free will. He doesn’t have to do anything. But God wants him to do something. Paul is to be a servant to his fellow men. All of his fellow men. We don’t get to pick and choose who to serve, not if we are doing it God’s way. It’s never about us in God’s house. It’s all about God.

 

Will you fight to spread the name of Jesus?

Will you fight to spread the name of Jesus?

I like to think of today’s the Jews Paul talked of as the very churched. We love to hang with our fellow parishioners. We even pick churches where we fit in. We have so much in common with them. It is an easy place to be. So easy that we often overlook behaviors and attitudes that are not spiritually correct. In many ways it is easier to be morally and spiritually bankrupt in church than anywhere else. If we are spreading God’s word we have to do it among ourselves as well. We have to hold each other accountable to God’s word.
Those under the law? My modern day analogy are those seeking God but not there yet. They may know the Ten Commandment- or most of them. They know there is a Jesus. But they do not understand what their relationship with Jesus Christ is. They will go from church to church. Sometimes they sit at home thinking they can be close to God without church. There is a sense of apprehension about discussing their spirituality with others.
If we don’t take the time to approach them and tell them about Jesus they will stagnate, often lost to Christ forever. We need to go find them, they will rarely find us. We may find them in the last pews of church, at work, or even in social gatherings. But they are there. Will we have the passion and take the effort to find them?
Then there are those who are “outside the law.” Those who choose not to believe in God or have never heard of Him. They too are at our work and social gatherings. It is way less comfortable to talk to those people. We can be called Bible thumpers, Jesus freaks. They will attempt to refute all our testimony. We will often fail. But if we don’t tell people about our Lord and Savior we deprive them of the joy that we have. Once we talk to them we need to give God a chance to do his thing, reaching their hearts

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He needs Jesus too> Will you talk to him?

He needs Jesus too> Will you talk to him?

There are also places we don’t like to go. Street corners, homeless shelters, jails and prisons are full of people who don’t know Jesus. The lifestyle of folks in these places can be very different than ours. But they truly need to know we love them, that Jesus loves them. If there is any group that can gain from a relationship with Christ it is these folks. Jesus says in Mark 2:17 “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” If we imitate Christ, we will find the sick as well.
The mantra Peter uses for all these groups is “to win”. It is truly a war with victory. Victory in the joy of spreading the word of Christ. And if we remain obedient and in love with Christ we will fight it. In war we don’t know who we’ll face. To win this war we have to become all things to all people. Paul says so. We have to become all things to all people. We have to embrace our fellow saints, wandering questions, and those without hope and/or knowledge of Jesus Christ. We need to meet all these people where they are, not where we want them to be. That’s how we win the war.
God Bless,
Mark

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Love the Jesus Way- Faith, Hope, and Love

November 16, 2012 at 10:42 pm (Spirituality)
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And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13

“And now these three remain….” The word remain seems small compared to faith, hope and love. But the importance of love hope and faith is their ability to remain.

Faith. Grinding it out. Now. For the next year, day, hour, minute, or second. We break time down to whatever we can endure. Faith has a lot to do with a consistency in handlingevery day. God loves us enough to hold our hand through the toughest moments. Will we hold His hand back?

His life had been filled with challenges. Born deaf, mentally retarded, and autistic he struggled with things most families never worry about. He was his mother’s world. His dad tried to help him grow, providing him opportunities and refusing to set limits for his son. Everyday presented new challenges. The young boy faced them all, supported by his family.

Hope. We dream and wish for a brighter future. Our faith gets us through the tough times. Hope propels us to the future. Better times in our temporal home on earth. Hope for a permanent home with God. Our faith tells us it is there. Hope makes it something we can touch, if only with our minds.

His parents hoped for a world without all the challenges. But struggles remained. Then one morning before his 13th birthday he died. His mother found him that dark morning. His dad tried to revive him to no avail. He hadn’t been ill. No warning, no explanation. Hope was difficult before, now it was completely gone.

Love. Why love? Faith and hope seem irreplaceable. But without love what do we have to be faithful to? Why bother to hope? Love is the bond that glues us together. With loved ones. With strangers. Most importantly, with God. It is the heart and soul of faith and hope. Love is indeed the most important of the three.

The boy’s name is Michael. He is my son. Michael would have been a grown up now if he had lived.  What about his hope? Going from wanting Michael to have a more normal live to having him gone. It shook my faith and hope. How could God have this as his master plan? How were we supposed to pick up and go on?

When we leave this world we leave many things behind. Maybe we left behind a home that was paid for with a car in the garage. The car will rust in a junkyard. The house will eventually be leveled, waiting for a new structure to replace it. There is only one thing that can transcend. Love is our legacy. It is something we can take with us and leave behind for others. It is something God promises and delivers on. It is what our eternal life with the Lord is all about.

REMEMBERING MICHAEL. More than seven years have passed. Those tough times have become distant memories. I can now replace those images with fond memories. I remember Michael catching a fish, then pretending to eat it while it was still on the line. I remember Michael’s persistence in visiting his friend 4 miles away. After failed attempts to sneak out walking, then riding a bike, Michael had a new plan. I found it out when I saw this crop of hair sticking up over the wheel of the car. And I remember him laughing as I opened the door. I remember Michael’s sister Mikayla forcing him to play with her- usually dolls or tea parties. Michael would sit there for hours making her happy. I can remember the boy who loved to cuddle with only one person, his Mom. He actually fell to sleep in her arms the night he died…

Faith to go on when times are tough. Hope for the future. And love to bring it all together.

Lord I thank you for your love for us. I thank you for the sacrifice of your son. I know how it feels to lose your child. I can’t imagine voluntarily making that choice. I pled for faith in anything to ease the pain. Lord you got me through those days. I hoped for healing. My wounds are healed. The scars that remain are a part of me that I embrace. And my memories are full of a love that sustains me until I see Michael again.

God Bless,

Mark

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Love the Jesus Way- Truth

November 6, 2012 at 7:22 pm (Spirituality)
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Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 1 Corinthians 13:6

I like to take everyday words that I use and look up their definitions. I did that for the word truth. The main point to me is the truth is incontrovertibly right- all the time. The truth is so absolute that even though we debate what is true the actual truth never changes. The only completely correct person who always speaks the truth is God.

Is it any wonder then that Paul’s definition of love includes the truth? God is love and truth. So when we attempt to love like Jesus we have to be true. Are we capable of being true to those we love?

The first thing we have to do is be true about ourselves. Lies are the obvious thing. Jesus never lied about himself. Can we do the same? We lie for lots of reasons. We lie to keep secrets about ourselves.  I am a convicted felon. I can rationalize and say this isn’t part of the real me. That lie creates a secret. Secrets doom relationships. Secrets eventually come out, often causing much more damage than the truth ever would have. The heaviness that stifles our own heart when we keep lies and secrets also poisons relationships. With secrets and lies relationships are doomed to fail.

Does that mean we need to walk around wearing a scarlet A (or F in my case.)? No. The truth about us should come naturally as a relationship grows. It can also be shared in context that way. Being arrested is part of my past; but so is my growth as a Christian that never would have happened otherwise. If that truth is something that ends a relationship that probably isn’t someone we need to be around anyhow.

We lie about ourselves for other reasons. We lie to avoid punishment. How many of us have done that since we were kids? “No mommy, I didn’t eat the Christmas cookies.” (Well actual I did eat the M & M ones, sorry Mom.) But in relationships of love we need to suffer the consequences of our actions. Some of our actions may be hard to forgive, and the punishment severe. We still need to accept the consequences of our poor choices, remembering our loved ones can be our biggest fan club.

We lie because we feel the need to protect ourselves. A wife might lie to her drunken husband to avoid being beaten. I’m not condoning violence but if we are that kind of situation we need to get out of the relationship- not lie to survive within it. We also need to pray for those in these difficult circumstances, asking God for the strength to help them out these tough situations.

We lie to avoid conflict- keeping peace in a relationship. We need to realize conflict will happen. Many of us think arguing and fighting are the only ways to resolve an issue. These conflicts need to be handled with love and empathy. Handling things this way will bond the ties of intimacy that a couple has.

How about telling the truth about someone else? We all have groups of friends that back us at all costs. We value them. I’d argue their way of loving us is damaging. We need friends that love us enough to tell us when we are off course. A month ago two of my friends sat me down and told me I handled a situation poorly. That is what love for someone does. They didn’t yell or scream, but their message was clear. Do things in a spiritual fashion.

What do you do when receive tough advise like that from your friends? Do you defend yourself? Do you find new friends? Do you complain about them to someone else who is more “supportive” of what you do? I simply say thank you. Whether I agree or disagree with them I respect how much they must love me to simply tell the truth. Yay to God for giving me friends like that!

Well, truth be told I have found this a very difficult Blog to right. These issues hit close to home for me. I know I’m a work in progress. I hope you find my words, largely directed at myself, helpful. And may you continue to love the Jesus way.

God Bless,

Mark

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Love the Jesus Way- It Takes Two

November 2, 2012 at 5:46 pm (Spirituality)
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Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 1 Corinthians 13:4

Love involves a number greater than one!

Patience and kindness. Absence of envy, boasting and pride. What do all of these words have in common? Hint- any number greater than 1.

True love involves a relationship with someone. You can’t do it on your own. Jesus taught, demonstrated and pleaded for us to have these relationships with others. He shared most of his important moments with others. The transfiguration took place in the presence of Peter, John and James. When Christ prayed to God in the Garden of Gethsemane he brought the same trio. Will we share our most precious moments and difficult moments with others? Or will we prefer to go it alone?

The choice of words Paul uses to demonstrate love also have something in common with Christ- they mirror the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Galatians 5:22 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control.” This isn’t accidental. When Christ rose to heaven he knew we still needed His presence. That is why the Holy Spirit was left with us. And love was so precious to Christ that is what the Holy Spirit is full of. And we are free to fill ourselves with the Holy Spirit, thus filling ourselves with love.

The words Paul uses for the fruit of the Holy Spirit and to describe love also have something else in common. The words require ourselves to subjugate ourselves to those we love. To have patience requires us to value the other person’s words and actions above our own. We have to want to listen to our spouse’s day at work. We have to bait the hook for our kids a dozen times before our own hits the water. Jesus had the patience to heal a woman who had bled for a dozen years while he was on his way to save Jarius’ daughter. Would you?

Kindness? Do you wait to open the door for a stranger who is slowly approaching? Will you do the same if it is raining? Will you play with the two year old in the church lobby? You know the kid who wants a second of anyone’s attention as many folks walk past him protecting their time and energy. Or are you the person who volunteers 20 hours a week but can’t come home and take care of your family. Jesus didn’t care who you were-leper, theft, rich man, poor man, family or friends. He showed this kindness to everyone.

Envy, such an ugly word. Boasting– not much better. But how about if we turn things upside down and inside out. What if we boast about others? That once again subjugates our self to others. Can you even imagine being at work and saying, “Fred really deserved that raise, he works so hard?” We pick on others to elevate ourselves. But what if we looked for the good in someone and bragged about it?  And have you tried to brag about someone and be envious at the same time?  I find the combo impossible. In Matthew 20:16 Jesus said “So the last shall be first, and the first last.” That is a statement of love- love the Jesus way.

Pride. More specifically self-pride. But when we are proud of ourselves our feelings and emotions get in the way of logic, wisdom and most important, God’s word. If we are too proud to get off a point in an argument we don’t listen. That invariably leads to others shutting off to you as well. And Jesus talked volumes about not only hearing but actually listening. Love also requires flexibility, the ability to change. None of this happens when we are too proud.

These characteristics of love are also as contagious as negative characteristics can be. That is the nature of relationships. The dad who is patient raises a son who is patient. The patron who is kind at the cash register leaves a whisper that flows through the cashier and on to others through the day. Love really can spread.

So can we engage in loving spiritual relationships full of patience and kindness? Can we rid ourselves of envy, boasting, and pride? Well Jesus certainly did. And if we never completely get there, we can pray and hope to get closer.

Jesus, thank you for the blessing of being in my life. Let me have a fraction of the patience you show in us. Let my heart be so filled with kindness there is room for nothing else. Let me envy nothing, for I already have everything in you. Let me only boast of your love my Lord and Savior, for it is perfect. And humble me before you, letting my pride crumble into grains of sand. Thank you for your awesomeness. Amen.

 

God Bless,

Mark

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Love the Jesus Way- Words

October 22, 2012 at 4:44 pm (Spirituality)
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What word will they remember?

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 1 Corinthians 13:1

Word: a unit of language, consisting of one or more spoken sounds or their written representation, that functions as a principal carrier of meaning. [dictionary.reference.com]

Meaning- that is what words are all about. Words are a way to express ourselves. But our expressions affect others. The only way to avoid that is to lock the door and talk to yourself. How to use our words wisely? That is a task I often struggle with.

Poor choices of words are more than “putting our foot in our mouth.” Some choices of words can scar and change others for life. Call your kid stupid and that will undo a thousand kind words. Words roll off our tongue so easily. A husband and wife fight with words. One fight can end a relationship, ruin trust and faith. WORDS CAN DESTROY LOVE.

How do we get to the wrong words?

  • We talk faster than we can think. The silent pause in a room is deafening. We feel the need to keep talking. Once they come out there are no do-overs. Counting to ten before we speak (In my case I may need to go to 50!) is the way to go.
  • Words are conduits of emotion and feelings. Those feeling we have, they need managed. If we don’t harness them we say things that match our emotions. If we take even a few seconds to get to the logical part of our brain, our words convey entirely different meanings.
  • For me words are also the pressure relief valve. I bottle all those emotions very well for a while- until the top blows. In that moment there is no turning back- and there is no control over who the words fly at. But before then? That is the key to not exploding. If we take care of things that stress us out as they happen, the pressure relief valve never pops.
  • Words are also like swords. We can use them intentionally. We can even engage in word sword fights. It is good to remember that part of God’s armor is THE WORD [Ephesians 6:10-20]. When we engage in using this weapon for anything else than God’s mission we fall to the adversary.

So is their good news? Absolutely. Word can share our feelings positively as well. The child that can be scarred by a single word can also be engrained with the right word. Saying “I love you” can never occur too often. As children struggle with self-worth isn’t that what we want them to hear?

There are many words that can express love.

For adults it will take more than “I love you.” Our words need to connect with smaller every day occurrences. “What a great dinner.” “Thanks for taking care of that.” “Is there anything I can do for you?” Those are all examples of sharing love on a smaller personal basis through words. I have to work on making that happen. Do you?

And to love those who are strangers and enemies? Starting with a simple “hi” does wonders. That one word may make a street person feel reconnected. An elderly lady at the store may have no one at home that even says hi. Enemies? Well if we are truly connected to loving the Jesus way we need to say hi to them too.

What to take it to a step further? How about noticing some detail of that strangers life. A 10 year old at church loves to be told her dress is pretty. The McD’s employee never has anybody say thank you by their first name. For the street guy a sunny nice day is a big deal- mention it to him. These ice breakers can even change a relationship with an enemy.

Finally, I want to finish with a little story. When I was in jail I asked to speak with someone. Harry Watson, the jail chaplain, came and saw me. It’s been almost 5 years now but that meeting change my life. Oddly, I can only remember 2 things Harry told me. First, he loved me. Second, Jesus loved me more. Harry and I became friends. His words left a message that will never leave me- the message of Godly love. Are we ready to love someone that way? Jesus always does.

God Bless,

Mark

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