Love the Jesus Way- It Takes Two

November 2, 2012 at 5:46 pm (Spirituality)
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Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 1 Corinthians 13:4

Love involves a number greater than one!

Patience and kindness. Absence of envy, boasting and pride. What do all of these words have in common? Hint- any number greater than 1.

True love involves a relationship with someone. You can’t do it on your own. Jesus taught, demonstrated and pleaded for us to have these relationships with others. He shared most of his important moments with others. The transfiguration took place in the presence of Peter, John and James. When Christ prayed to God in the Garden of Gethsemane he brought the same trio. Will we share our most precious moments and difficult moments with others? Or will we prefer to go it alone?

The choice of words Paul uses to demonstrate love also have something in common with Christ- they mirror the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Galatians 5:22 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control.” This isn’t accidental. When Christ rose to heaven he knew we still needed His presence. That is why the Holy Spirit was left with us. And love was so precious to Christ that is what the Holy Spirit is full of. And we are free to fill ourselves with the Holy Spirit, thus filling ourselves with love.

The words Paul uses for the fruit of the Holy Spirit and to describe love also have something else in common. The words require ourselves to subjugate ourselves to those we love. To have patience requires us to value the other person’s words and actions above our own. We have to want to listen to our spouse’s day at work. We have to bait the hook for our kids a dozen times before our own hits the water. Jesus had the patience to heal a woman who had bled for a dozen years while he was on his way to save Jarius’ daughter. Would you?

Kindness? Do you wait to open the door for a stranger who is slowly approaching? Will you do the same if it is raining? Will you play with the two year old in the church lobby? You know the kid who wants a second of anyone’s attention as many folks walk past him protecting their time and energy. Or are you the person who volunteers 20 hours a week but can’t come home and take care of your family. Jesus didn’t care who you were-leper, theft, rich man, poor man, family or friends. He showed this kindness to everyone.

Envy, such an ugly word. Boasting– not much better. But how about if we turn things upside down and inside out. What if we boast about others? That once again subjugates our self to others. Can you even imagine being at work and saying, “Fred really deserved that raise, he works so hard?” We pick on others to elevate ourselves. But what if we looked for the good in someone and bragged about it?  And have you tried to brag about someone and be envious at the same time?  I find the combo impossible. In Matthew 20:16 Jesus said “So the last shall be first, and the first last.” That is a statement of love- love the Jesus way.

Pride. More specifically self-pride. But when we are proud of ourselves our feelings and emotions get in the way of logic, wisdom and most important, God’s word. If we are too proud to get off a point in an argument we don’t listen. That invariably leads to others shutting off to you as well. And Jesus talked volumes about not only hearing but actually listening. Love also requires flexibility, the ability to change. None of this happens when we are too proud.

These characteristics of love are also as contagious as negative characteristics can be. That is the nature of relationships. The dad who is patient raises a son who is patient. The patron who is kind at the cash register leaves a whisper that flows through the cashier and on to others through the day. Love really can spread.

So can we engage in loving spiritual relationships full of patience and kindness? Can we rid ourselves of envy, boasting, and pride? Well Jesus certainly did. And if we never completely get there, we can pray and hope to get closer.

Jesus, thank you for the blessing of being in my life. Let me have a fraction of the patience you show in us. Let my heart be so filled with kindness there is room for nothing else. Let me envy nothing, for I already have everything in you. Let me only boast of your love my Lord and Savior, for it is perfect. And humble me before you, letting my pride crumble into grains of sand. Thank you for your awesomeness. Amen.

 

God Bless,

Mark

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Forgive Me? Unforgiveable Me!

September 24, 2012 at 5:42 pm (Uncategorized)
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Colossians 1:13-14 He has  delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of  his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

I wrote my last blog on people who are tough to forgive. A thought keep lodged in the remote parts of my brain. It surfaced shortly after I was done writing. The most unforgiveable person of all is ME. It has been stuck in the open ever since.

I have made some poor choices in my life (code for I screwed up big time!). I won’t go into the details. I’m not trying to spare myself, but those I have already inflicted damage to. I know I’m not alone in not forgiving myself. Why is it so hard to forgive ourselves? What wounds do we self-inflict when we refuse to forgive ourselves? How do we finally accomplish that?

I am like many others- I am my own worst critic. That is partially why it is hard to forgive myself. I still haven’t forgiven myself for the offenses that landed me in jail 4 years ago. Every Wednesday I go to Jail Bible study with men who have committed their own crimes. Most are repeat offenders. Yet I think of them as my brothers and never think about their offenses. Why can’t I treat myself with the same kindness?

We dissect ourselves with a sharp scalpel.

I also have been forgiven by many of those I hurt. Some will never forgive me. And I’m OK with that. I respect their personal decisions. My heart knows I have hurt those people. That sin is a debt that only Jesus can repay. But my heart, which I believe is good, wants to pay up. I still find myself trying to atone for my previous actions. But we all need to realize that isn’t possible. We can’t undo the past, only change for the future. Repaying sins gets us nowhere (Note the difference between repaying sins and making restitution). If we improve how we treat others as part of being a better, Godlier person then we progress as a person.

Society also continues to pile on for our sins as well. I am a felon. Committing a felony is a life-long penalty. You have to announce it when you look for a job. You have to announce your mistakes to volunteer. And if you are transparent about your past mistakes will come up in conversations. The rehashing by society makes forgiving one’s self difficult. We judge others so easily. If someone tells you their marriage ended because of their infidelity will you forgive them? Not so easy is it? Being frequently judged by others has made me better at this. Pastor Swoope often says “Love the person, hate the sin.” Think carefully about that- loving someone becomes much easier when we separate out the person from their mistakes.

The damage to ourselves? I still suffer from episodes of depression that stem from my sins. I find myself dwelling on the past long enough that I devalue myself as a person. It has made me shy about pursuing opportunities. I feel I don’t deserve them. I thank God for friends who remind me I do. It has affected me in terms of pursuing relationships. You get the sense that eventually the person you meet will walk away once they know who you “really are”. It has led me to try to please everyone at the expense of myself. But this also leaves one miserable and empty.

John 3:16. Do you believe?

The solution? It was presented to me years ago by a spiritually wise friend who has passed away. He asked me if I believed in Jesus. I told him of course I do. He reminded me Christ died upon the cross to wash all our sins- even mine. To believe I am not forgiven is to not believe in the power, humanity and grace of Jesus Christ. It took me a long time to get that. I did a lot of faking it till I made it. I told myself that it was true- even if I only hung on to it for a second. And now I hang on to it much long. I am still a work in progress. I hope you are too.

Thank you for your wise words Harry Watson. I can hear them still long distance as you sit in heaven.

God Bless,

Mark

 

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